As I aluded to in my post about last New Year, I have a history of shenanigans on New Year.
During first year, I was invited by a mate to a flat party at Opal to celebrate New Year's. He knew the host pretty well, but I'd never met them before. We pre'd at my mates for a bit, and then suitably pissed up, we headed to the party. As usual, the lift was broken in the block the party was in, but the lift in the adjacent block was working, so we took that to the floor below the one we needed and then walked through two flats to get into the block we wanted. On the way through the second flat I looked into the kitchen and saw a shiny, new, unopened box of Cornflakes, which I decided it would be hilarious if I took to the party with me.
We arrive, and are immediately told that no one is to touch the christmas tree in the corner of the lounge, as it's the property of the one flat mate who isn't there and he expressly warned them not to touch it. We all swear blind we won't touch it, and start playing drinking games.
The Cornflakes are a good ice breaker, although eventually we decide it's more entertaining to fuck with it than it is to talk about it. The box got one of it's sides ripped off, set on fire at least twice and sprayed by a fire extinguisher once. I then emptied the whole pack into the hosts fridge.
At some point I also found a camera, and thought it would be funny to take a load of stupid photos on it. This is when I broke the oath I made early and started running around pretending the christmas tree was a cock, until it broke and we were all too drunk to fix it. Oops. So I took lots and lots of photos, which I may or may not be tagged in. I then go to give it back to my friend, who's camera I thought it was. Turns out it wasn't his, it was actually the hosts. Who I'd never met before. Oops again. ('Oh no, you took some pictures of you and your mates in stupid poses, big deal.' you say. 'If you ever saw some of the photos I took, I think you'd understand why it was an issue.' says me.)
The night starts to tail off at this point, and when one of the lassies starts to spew her hoop in the toilet and all her friends are required to hold her hair, my mate and I find ourselves left alone in the kitchen. I find myself desperate to pee, but obviously the one toilet is in use. My mate convinces me that it's perfectly acceptable to pee in the sink. I run the hot tap for a minute, pee while it's still running, and then empty a bottle of bleach down the sink. In hindsight, that was a horrible thing to do, and this is one of the few times I've ever admitted I actually did this. At the time however, it seemed like the logical thing to do.
It then goes black for a bit, and the next thing I remember is sitting in the lounge trying to watch Celebrity Juice while two people make out in front of me, and me shouting at them to fuck off.
It then goes black again until we are leaving. My friend and I leave the way we came in, so obviously, we replace the now thoroughly fucked with Cornflakes box back where we got it. I just wish I'd been able to see that poor person's face when they came through into the kitchen the next morning to open their brand new Cornflakes and found a charred, empty box where they'd left it.
The End.
So yeah, New Year's and I aren't really on speaking terms. Will that stop me no doubt getting up to shenanigans this year? Will it fuck.
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