Shit You've Probably Heard Before: The night I spent in Amir's car.

I currently live at home, so on a Wednesday night out I crash at MY FRIEND'S house. Normally we walk home together, so I have no issue getting into the house and passing out. One night however, I tell MY FRIEND I'll be alright walking back on my own. (There's more to this night, now I remember, but that's a story for another time.) Anyway, MY FRIEND heads home, locks the door and goes to bed. I stagger back some time later, and am confused to find the door locked. I ring MY FRIEND but there is no reply.
At this point I'm hammered and tired, and just want to go to sleep. It had rained earlier in the night however, so in my drunken state I thought to myself 'I'll sleep here for a bit, but the floor's all wet.' 'But it won't be wet under the doormat!' 'Good shout self.' So I move the doormat and promptly pass out with my back to the door. 
An hour later I wake up, shivering with the cold. I come to realise that I can't possibly spend the night like this, so after ringing the doorbell a few times, begin to brainstorm ideas for where I can sleep. Based on the fact that the day he moved in the year before he had left his car unlocked, my brain then assumes that MY FRIEND'S car might be open, so I can sleep in there. Obviously, it's locked. My eyes then alight on a friend of MY FRIEND'S car, which has been abandoned on his drive for ages, as it's no longer road worthy. I try the door and it opens, accompanied by a choir of angels. (That may have been me hallucinating from the cold, I can't be sure.) Anyway, I climb inside and pass out face down arse up on the backseat. 
A few hours later I wake up feeling worse than ever, because all the blood has pooled in my head like a twat. I stagger back to MY FRIEND'S front door, hammer on it for a good fifteen minutes before leaving a voicemail that I'm sure he'll be happy to let you listen to next time you see him. Unable to get into the house, I stagger back to the car, and having learnt my lesson the first time, sit in the passenger seat this time. Whack that bad boy back as far as it will go and proceed to have one of the best night's sleep ever. 
I wake up later on, needing to grab my work stuff from inside the house. I stagger up to the door, and by some twist of fate it's now open. I think a builder had unlocked it or some shit. Change into my work clothes, stagger off to work and then sit with my head in the fridge for three hours, refusing to talk to anyone.

Amir's car, you may have saved my life that night, and I will love you forever. 

The End.